Can’t handle change
If you’re aiming to spend the rest of your life with that special guy or gal, then you better get ready to handle some changes together. After all, the lines “for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,” are in the wedding vows for a reason!
Clinical psychologist Terri Orbuch, PhD. says that many people fear the word “change”, but a simple shift in mindset can completely transform the way that you think about uncharted territory. “When you add something new, which is what a change really is, you can add romance and passion to a relationship,” says Orbuch. It’s all about keeping a positive attitude and looking at everything as an opportunity.
Now, there are times when certain lines are crossed, whether they be financial, emotional, or differences in lifestyle, and that is when you, as a partner, need to effectively convey why you are feeling so uneasy about a shift. Which brings us to our next point…
Not making your boundaries known
Even the most easygoing people have certain limits, especially when it comes to their partners. Because relationships should be a safe place for both, it’s key that you establish your changing boundaries as you move forward.
According to clinical psychologist Ryan Howes, PhD., the best way to do this is to stay away from using words like “never” and “always”—ultimatums only add pressure to a blossoming relationship. Not only are they often paired with unrealistic expectations, they can also end up being rather vague.
The most effective way to state your boundaries, as well as honor those of your partner, is to “ask permission, take one another’s feelings into account, show gratitude and respect about differences in opinion, perspective and feelings,” says Howes.
Pretty good advice, huh? Though these rules can be trying, we think that the right person is most definitely worth the challenge!
What do you think of this list? Would you add any rules of your own? How do you keep things peaceful in your long-term relationship?
source : http://tiphero.com
